Almost from birth, I challenged my own sanity. My childhood was not like those of other children. I was always off in my own little world. I was an incessant talker as a child, to someone who was clearly not there.

We moved frequently. My Father was a drifter, and we traveled all over the U.S. It wasn't easy to make friends when I knew that we would probably move soon. I was the nonconformist, different, and kind of odd. I still am to most people.

When I was 4 or 5 years old, I had dreams that were extremely vivid to me. In them, there was this boundless region of the infinite, and then an abyss, followed by a spark of energy that was me, traveling around and through planets and ultimately, universes. I was seeing incredible living beings on beautiful planets with immense crystalline cities.  There were creatures that I've never seen in this world and experiences that left me mesmerized. I found myself speaking languages that were unknown and yet were translated into my brain. I could speak them when I woke up. My travels, I found out later as I grew, were considered out-of-body experiences.

As I matured into an adult and had all the fear and uncertainty that usually comes from living life, I found a sort of peace in the nearly perfect quiet of the mornings. I would go outside and sit on the patio and listen to the music of the doves. I had been doing this for several months. Then one morning, I had a visitor. I had my eyes closed in meditation when a deep voice spoke, " I am Yaksa Nagiska. You are not alone with your doubts and fears. Center your Spirit, child. You have confused your worldly needs with those of the Spirit. You are beginning a journey of self-discovery. No matter where your future lies, you must be willing to choose to love and trust in me to be your guide for a time.”

I was startled. This voice was inside my head, yet I heard it with my ears. I opened my eyes and sitting not 5 feet from me, cross-legged, was an American Indian. He was tangible and real. He was not a hologram or an apparition. He looked to me to be about 50 or 60 years of age and had the full regalia of Indian clothing—buck skin shirt and pants, chest piece, stone beading, and long, dark, shining hair. His countenance was regal and serene. His eyes showed me the wisdom of the world. I wasn't in any fear at all. In fact, I readily accepted him, as though he were my Father. Well, I am one quarter Cherokee. I had a million questions in my mind and just opened my mouth to speak when he raised his hand and said, "There is enough time later for talking the small talk. You must fully prepare for your Life Journey in mind, body and spirit. Please get paper and a pencil and keep it with you, for you will be granted instructions and you will be writing things you do not know, but will come to know."

Somehow I knew that this was real, that I was not insane. I got up and found the paper and a pencil. I came back and he was still there. I asked, "Will you be with me forever as you are now?" He said, "No, not always in this body. This effort is taxing on my Spirit in this Dimension.  However, I will be with you, as close as your heart. Call my name and I will answer, think of me, and I will assist you in all the ways I am permitted."

"Nagiska, I must ask you this question, so that I know if you are from the Dark or the Light. Are you of the Love and Light of The Trinity, of The White Brotherhood, the One Source and Center of the Universe, of the Almighty "I AM"?"

Eyes and a smile as brilliant as diamonds looked back at me. "Yes, my Hummingbird, I am of the love and light of the "I AM". You already have the wisdom to challenge any spirit that comes to you. It is more important at the present time than ever before in the span of the Universe. Because you are a Child of the Light, and Darkness is attracted to the Light. Protect yourself at all times. You are more special to this Universe than you may ever know."

With that, he began to dissolve like the heat waves from hot pavement. It hurt to see him go.

I had so many more questions to ask, why me, what was special about me?  I got up and went into the house. On the chair, I saw Nagiska's chest piece. I went over and touched it. It was real. I picked it up and words came to my heart. "You are a Warrior now, a Warrior of Love, Peace, Truth, Beauty, Joy, Trust and Wisdom. You have a great deal to learn, whether this Mastery is achieved by pain and suffering or the Wisdom in your heart. The choice is yours, always know that you have the choice, to do or not to do. You have been chosen for this Journey because your heart is glorious, and it shines from this planet like a beacon to all the spaces of all time.”

What the heck did that mean? It resounded in my head, as though I had heard it before somewhere—like Deja' Vu. A lot of things were changing very fast in one day.

Prepare, how do I prepare, and am I going on an actual journey leaving my home?

Well, I'd had enough excitement for one day. I carefully picked up the chest piece and took it to my bedroom. I was tempted to put it on, but I had too much reverence for it at this point. I laid it on a silk scarf in my drawer.

The next morning, as usual, I went out to sit on the patio, with my pencil and now, a notebook.

I took a deep breath and began to do my meditation as usual, clearing my mind of all the clutter.  When I opened my eyes again, the Sun was in a different position, and I was on the ground on my stomach with my pencil and notebook lying before me. I looked at the paper and there were pages and pages of writing, and not even in my style of writing. That was when I realized I was the passive receiver of Automatic Writing.

I must have been out of it for two or three hours because I was hot, sticky and thirsty. I had pencil lead smudges all over my hands. I decided to go in to wash up and drink water.

As I was starting to wash my face, I felt the urge to recite a prayer.

"I cleanse myself of all selfishness, resentment, and critical emotions towards my fellow beings. I cleanse myself of Self condemnation and ignorant misinterpretations of my life's experiences.

I bathe myself in generosity, appreciation, and emotions of praise toward my fellow beings, self acceptance, and enlightened understanding of my life's experiences."

I now knew without a doubt that I was on my path of learning as Nagiska had told me.

I went outside and picked up the notebook and sat down with a large glass of water. The information in the notebook was fascinating. There were stories about ancient times, prayers and visions. What I found interesting was that while reading the words, I had a sense of not having read it before, like it was a new story, and yet as I read each word, it became solidified in my mind as a memory. It’s hard to explain.

This automatic writing continued for months. Sometimes, I would read things from Nagiska on those pages. I had filled five notebooks by then. And all during this time I started to feel an insistence, and urgency to learn as quickly as possible. I knew I would be leaving soon.

So, one morning in early July, things changed. I woke up and started packing. I got all that I could into my car, went and rented a small trailer and packed things that were a part of my life.

And my dogs.

I walked once more out onto the patio and there was Nagiska, standing. He stood looking away from me with his arms crossed. As I approached, he turned and smiled, in my hands was the chest piece that was left for me so long ago. He came to me and bent down lifting his hair, and I gently placed it around his neck, and tied the leather strings at his back. He stood up and took my hand and we all got into the car.

I asked him, "Nagiska, which way do I go?"  He patted the dog and said, “North...to meet yourself.”